SkyMall: shoppers’ paradise.

4 Oct

resulting from my excessive recent air travel, I’ve developed an intimate relationship with SkyMall.  and en route, I’ve wondered if it’s possible to cull anything actually useful from this catalogue of oddities.  I mean, while I’ve always wanted an outdoor tiki table

I just don’t know where I’d put it at the moment, not having any outdoor space.

SkyMall also seems to cater to a certain (perhaps overly specific?) segment of the air traveling American public: pet owners who are obsessed with multi-tasking home decor:

you can hide the litterbox, indeed, and right next to your own toilet.

teach your dog where to crap, and then lock him away next to your sofa…

as far as personal accessories, SkyMall’s offerings are legion.  they also defy any notion of taste.  as part of my SkyMall experiment, I tried to find a jewelry-like accessory I would actually purchase and wear.

there’s something horribly depressing about whoever buys a licensed Avatar beaded choker:

although it is kind of Ralph Lauren and I’m sure some cool downtown type could rock it.  without the embarrassing collector’s box.

the ultimate in SkyMall horrors: a jewelry/cellphone-accessory HYBRID:

“And it can also make a fashion statement!”  that fashion statement: I am incompetent at life.

I did find one awkward but wearable piece of jewelry:

apart from the creepy subtext (this fingerprint belongs to someone in Afghanistan, or better yet, my dead grandmother), it’s kind of a cool idea.

but if I were to buy anything, it would obviously be my very own droid:

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